Tying the Knot, Celtic Style

June is here and the wedding march is in the air.

I’ve had the honor of having officiated at more than thirty weddings through the years. It really is a tricky business. You want to make certain that all the names are pronounced correctly, that it’s unique and special for all the folks involved, and that you get it right. After all, this is their special moment. As a priest, you don’t have the option of screwing up or being late! The pressure is on from the minute you agree to marry a couple. So far, they’ve all gone pretty well.

One of the things I specialize in is what I call “Celtic Weddings” and “Handfastings.” Which means what, you may ask? First, both of these themes are based on Celtic traditions, ancient or modern. If something has been around long enough, it will become a tradition itself. Some traditional Celtic weddings could be long and arduous. For example, the traditional Catholic ceremony could take almost a day… and it was in Latin. If you included the posting of the wedding Banns (prior notices that these two folks were planning on getting married), the whole process could take weeks. Some traditional weddings could also be very quick, with just a couple of witnesses and a priest, done with a few words on the steps of the church.

There’s also a long history of practical weddings being officiated by chieftains, lay clergy, and people getting married by jumping the broom (besom), the sword, and so on. Some of these traditions going way back, and coming from rural and folk traditions. One of the reasons for these practical ceremonies is that, just like today, an official wedding could cost a lot of money and involve taxes. And in the medieval ages, the Church had the power and charged all the market could bear. Also, if there was no officially approved Clergy in the area, it could be a long time until someone official arrived in your part of the world.

So old-style Celtic marriages were often very pragmatic affairs, as romance, pregnancy, and an excuse for a good celebration often decided the case between legality and expediency. The official paperwork followed later, if at all. There are stories of Welsh mining villages where the women owned the land and the men who were miners, and of short term marriages celebrated in the pub. As the mines played out, the men moved on and so on. I should point out that by and large, most of the Celtic weddings were for life. Hasty marriages often happened as the poorer folk were mobilized for wars, and as warriors headed off, marriages ensued just as today. Some of our traditions are ancient indeed.

The ancient Irish (400 CE and before) had a very different idea of what a marriage was. The Celts had lawyers for thousands of years, and the ancient Irish marriage had very solid legal foundations. I should point out that Irish women lost more rights than they gained with the coming of Christianity. In fact, their legal standing was well insured by the Brehon laws. Fortunately, we’ve caught up with our ancestors.

There were at least nine different forms of marriage, including “marriage of a lesser man to a greater woman” and “lanamnas fir mir, marriage of two insane people,” which for my money includes most of us.

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By the way, homosexual marriage was not considered not for moral reasons, but because there were no kids. Divorce had clear guidelines as well, with equally intriguing terms. One of my favorites is be loites cach ret, “She made a mess of everything!” These marriages would be struck down and the participants would move on to another marriage, because it was critical that these resources not be wasted and that children be brought forth.

Nowadays, we have new age handfastings, and most of the handfasting tradition information points back to this 1820 quote by Sir Walter Scott, “When we are handfasted, as we term it, we are man and wife for a year and a day; that space gone by, each may choose another mate, or, at their pleasure, may call the priest to marry them for life; and this we call handfasting.” Regardless of the fact that Walter Scott has very mixed reviews when concerning the Irish and was writing a romantic piece about the 1620s, we have little written proof that contract marriages existed. But being a romantic people, the term has come to mean either an engagement or a contract marriage (a year and a day). I think the key here is written proof.

In truth the phrase handfasting probably from a term that meant handshake, but now signifies, the tying of two people together, in the tradition of “tying the knot.” Being a traditional storyteller, I know that there’s probably a pretty good chance that this is an actual tradition, kept alive by oral and family traditions, that may not have had the approval of various established religions and gotten into print. Let’s face it, if everyone is going around performing their own marriages, where’s the cut for the clergy? Or for them to write it down?

So perhaps our Pagan and New Romantic friends may have just re-created a tradition that got lost along the way. According to some folks, the hand fasting tie would stay on for 24 hours or until the relationship was consummated. I know I’ve seen some beautiful handfasting ties (or withes).

I will continue to perform Celtic-themed marriages and handfastings, with parts of the ceremony based on older writings as well as new interpretations. I make it a point to explain the traditions involved in what the audience will be seeing. If you are thinking about having a Celtic-themed wedding, I heartily encourage it. Most of the ones I’ve been to were absolutely wonderful, including pipers and harpers, whisky and laughter, kilts, swords, brooms, claddagh rings, wedding bowers, and of course, love. Some are formal, some hilarious, and all of them have been memorable! Blessings, and may all the weddings you attend be happy and productive!

True Thomas the Storyteller is known for his traditional and modern stories throughout the Southern California area. He is also a ULC minister and is available for weddings, handfastings, and other events.