Saints Preserve Us
But we can do it too!
originally written for the Irish News
It was one of the saddest things I’ve ever run into. I went to a estate/yard sale, and there in a jumble of boxes was a box full of photographs and letters. When I brought the seller’s attention to them, they just shrugged and turned away. In that box were old photos of loves lost and won, of trials and tribulations, and of memories and stories that were now gone. As a storyteller and even just as a person, it made me truly sad. In my business, both traditional and personal stories have power. I was looking at the stories of a person and a family, “that had no home to go to.” The Irish certainly went through some troubled times, and sometimes left those memories behind them on purpose. But memories (and the stories) good and bad help us define who we are, and in a larger sense, where we are going. Our stories have power.
How many of us have the box of photos of unknown folks from long ago? Here’s a shillelagh brought by my great grandfather from the old sod. “I’m Paddy McIrish from a long line of Dugans and Kellys and here’s my family crest.” But all this is thin soup compared to, “…and when your grandfather fought in the labor movement” or “this side of the family were infamous horse thieves, and on the other side, we’ve long line of royal folks.” So here are some recommendations on saving those family stories.
First and foremost, “don’t assume.” We often think that Aunt Sally will live forever and that all these stories are recorded somewhere. Wrong. When Aunt Sally trips off to Tir Nan Og, those stories may go with her. Make it an official family policy that once or twice a year, you gather folks together, kill the tv, and tell the family stories. Record the conversations. You can get your family historians together, the ones who know all the embarrassing stories, set them in front of a photo albums or box of photos and mementos, bring out the tea, and the camera or audio recorder. If you set the camera on wide lens with a long tape and a reasonable view, after while, people forget about the camera and the stories will be recorded. Be sure to use AC power, not batteries.
And believe me, twenty years from now, your grandkids will really love the story of how your Uncle got shot down over France in World War II.
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Along with the don’t assume theme, don’t assume that there are not multiple versions of the stories (from different perspectives) and that the quiet ones have no stories. Uncle Al may be a stone in a group but one-on-one, ask a few questions and you could unlock a wealth of memories and stories. On the oral side, if there are songs, jokes, stories that you know are family traditions, these need to be pointed out and passed on, recorded if possible. A discreet tape recorder is a handy thing.
Second, a mantra from the computer world should be adopted for family history. “Always Make Back Ups.” Don’t have just one keeper of stories. Take the folks with the gift of memory and storytelling and put them together, young and old. Make copies of photo albums. You can scan the photos, text, and host them on a website, if you are so inclined. It’s a great way to find lost relatives and stories! And even though it’s a pain, take the time to take those photos and write a story with dates and captions. Add in postcards, coins, anything on hand. The photos are eloquent but they need stories to surround them. Just like us.
For more information on how to keep stories alive, there are a great many resources on interviewing and becoming a family historian on the web and at the library. I hope you all have wonderful stories to keep and sustain you.
—True