Aliens and Irishmen

Legends and Lore by True Thomas the Storyteller

As a storyteller and folklore fan, I get to peek into the weird nooks and crannies of Celtic story lore. Some of them make you go, “hmmmn.” Try this on for size.

“Not long ago, a fellow named Pat was on his way home, and he saw an odd glow coming from over the hill. He heard some odd sounds and then he saw them. Strange creatures, angular, with strange almond-shaped eyes and pale white skin. He felt himself unable to move. The creatures took him to a strange place, and he saw many odd things. After what seemed an interminable length of time, one of them waved a hand and he found himself waking up on the side of the road. When he got home, it turned out that he had been missing three days. After his strange encounter people say Pat was never quite the same. Later he seemed to slowly waste away.”

Now in an Irish newspaper, this would be obviously be a fairy story. The Celts have a long tradition of fairy folklore. I have not taken a poll on the number of Irish alien abductions and UFO-ology. But the similarities to what we would regard as a modern day alien abduction are striking! Let’s see: odd glow, weird sounds, strange almond-eyed creatures, time displacement, strange powers, and usually inimical after-effects. I think the parallels are quite intriguing. Now before you think I’ve gone all “Eric Von Daniken, Chariots of the Gods, Ancient astronauts,” I should also point out that besides aliens, the analogies don’t stop.

There are incredibly close analogies with some of our modern day legends. Sasquatch or Big Foot has many counterparts in fairy folklore, with any number of Hairy Men (usually some sort of goblin, giant, bogle, fuath, or fachtna, including Welsh Fenoderee) Likewise the Loch Ness Monster could be a giant plesiosaurus. But it certainly can fit right next to any number of wyrms, dragons, water horses, kelpies, and nixies. So, if aliens are much like fairies (and there are many crossovers such as the New Jersey Devil or Mothman), it makes you think! Maybe the world isn’t being visited by strange creatures from another planet or dimension. Maybe they never left!

I should point out that I am unaware of any culture that does not have some sort of spirit/fairy tradition. There is one story related by some medieval monks in one of their chronicles. The monks tell of a time when a ship flew over their island monastery, dropped anchor, and asked for directions. As the shipped tried to pick up its anchor, the monks grabbed the anchor rope. The sailors on the “airship” cried out, “for the love of God, let go the rope! Are you trying to drown us?” The monks let go and away it sailed. No word as to whether the monks had especially good cider that year.
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Another one of the most intriguing stories that I can think of is the legend of the Green Children.

The medieval chronicles from the 12th Century relate that in the south of England, near Suffolk, two children were found. They both had green-tinged skin and when they spoke, the language was not understood by anyone. They were eventually taken to the home of a local knight. The children appeared to be starving, but when presented with normal food they did not seem to know what to do with it. When given some beans, they attempted to open the stalks and eat them. They had to be shown how to open the pods. Once shown, they would eat nothing else for a long time. Eventually the boy wasted away and died. The girl lost her green coloring and grew into good health. It was said that she was wild in her ways, but was baptized and worked in the service of a knight. She learned to speak English and told people that she had come from a land where there was no sun but it was twilight all the time. The children had seen a cavern, heard a strange sound they had never heard before (church bells), and followed the sound. When they came to our world, they were blinded and had problems adjusting to the atmosphere and temperature. Later they were caught by the villagers and brought to the hall.

Now, I don’t know about you, but the parallels to somebody who might be traveling in a sealed environment (say a space ship) makes me really wonder.

So I guess the next time you are stopped by strange alien creatures, the educated Celt will know how to deal with them. If they ask, “take me to your leader,” chances are they are aliens. I would suggest you might want to stop wearing flannel shirts, baseball caps, and driving pick up trucks for a while. But if they say, “take me to a pub,” it’s just another tourist from the fairy realm. I recommend O’Brians in Santa Monica. I’m sure they will fit right in!

-True