Irish Standard Time

“Ah, so where is everyone?” “Oh, don’t worry. They’ll get here. I think everyone is on Irish Standard time.”

When said amongst the Celtic community, it’s usually a joke. Outside the community it can sometimes be seen as a veiled insult implying laziness. To outsiders, watching a group of Celts putting on an event can seem pretty chaotic, but somehow it all works and rolls along fine.

But it is intriguing. The Celts have always had an interesting relationship with time. All jokes aside, ancient ceremonial sites prove that the Celts had a very keen understanding of time and of astronomy. These amazing sites (like New Grange) still continue to align to Solstices and other celestial events, and probably will long after we are gone. Since they lock to the starry sky, our ancestors probably had much clearer skies than the Isles enjoy today.

In Celtic folklore, there are many weird stories involving time. In folktales from cultures around the world, we hear the story of a person who travels to a magical realm, disappearing for many years. When they return, the minute they touch the ground, poof! All the years are back in an instant.

Probably the most famous version of this (besides Rip Van Winkle) is the Irish legend of poet-warrior Ossian, son of Fionn Mac Cumhal (Finn MacCool). He falls in love with a fairy woman and rides off with her to her land. And like most fairy stories, he disregards her warnings and decides to go home on a magical horse and visit the relatives. When he comes back to Ireland, all the people he knew are just ancient legends. As long as he does not leave the back of the horse, he will not age. But he offers to help some folks move a large boulder, the saddle girth snaps and presto, he hits the ground and ages hundreds of years. Unlike most stories, he does not crumble instantly to dust. Instead, even as a withered old man, he sticks around a while to relate the stories of the Fianna to St. Patrick and his scribes (thank goodness!).

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Lesser known stories include people who have magical experiences where they experience a whole lifetime in a moment. They get married, have kids, lead incredible lives, and suddenly they pop back into their normal lives. To anybody observing them, they would see nothing unusual, but participant would often be left with a souvenir and a lot more wisdom.

Time has always been fluid thing to the Celts, even into the 18th century there are reports of people showing up an hour before they would arrive. A person would note someone walking by who was reputed to be away in America, wave greeting, all as normal. An hour or day later the person would arrive “for real” and both persons would be confused!

There’s an old joke in which someone asks an Irishman if there is a word in Gaelic which corresponds with the Spanish word mañana (tomorrow). The Irishman pauses and after a great while replies, “I’m afraid, sir, there is no word in the Irish that conveys such a great sense of urgency.” This strange sense of time often shows up when the Celts step up to any microphone.

So, if folklore and legend have any parallels to modern day life, you may find the following. Coordinating a Celtic event may seem like an eternity, yet magically friends can show up in an instant. Your friend can take a lifetime to get a pint from the bar, and yet the evening will pass in a flash. Don’t worry, you are just on “Irish Standard Time.”